This week has been a disaster - think I have had a total of 2 days on plan. The rest, well lets not go there in too much detail. Some nights I've been too exhausted to do anything other than crawl into bed, some days I've had to try and work on my essay and 2/3 days this week I forgot all my packs in the morning and my SS+ lunch. I couldn't/wouldn't spend all day on a ward and not eat anything, so off to the canteen. Its all bread based.
End up I think I've put on 4-5lbs, I'm not sure as I avoided the scales this morning and asked my CDC not to tell me my weight as I didn't want to know this week, and she can tell me my new weight when I next see her in a fortnight.
So NO weight updates for a while, might look at updating weight next week.
Moved up to 810 plan today too, thats proven a lifesaver today.
Menu: 400g tofu and yellow courgettes, 2 choc tetras, skimmed milk and a peanut bar
Drinks: 2 cups coffee, 3 L water.
Exercise: toddling about town with a really heavy backpack on for a hour or two (was full of 20 tetras plus juice).
Weight: Who knows?
Sorry I've not been about much. Placement has been manic. I've been manic. The whole worlds been manic.
Saturday, 27 June 2009
Sunday, 21 June 2009
Sunday. BBQ Day
Well scales show a 1lb gain this morning, which to be honest I'm okay with as yesterdays all time low was 11st 4, suspiciously low. So not too gutted scales are 1lb up, its probably water and will disappear for official weigh in on Saturday.
Also this is my 12th week on SS/SS+ and as of next Sat I will be moving up to the 810 plan. So there we go then.
Todays BBQ went a bit awry, had 2 tuna steaks prepared and some salad for my SS+ friendly meal. Went a bit off plan and ended up eating 4 skinny skinless sausages, and a wee bit if husbands pork. We also had to use my water for the dog and BBQ extinguishing so drink was 500ml of Pepsi Max. Oh and 3 cherries.
Its not massively off plan, but bet its enough to skew the scales. At least if I have a wee upwards tilt I know why though.
However I am on placement for 5 weeks. 5 weeks of heavy duty walking and patient care. Have decided in order to deal with demands of day will split SS+ days as follows.
B: Vanilla latte shake ( I made this into a mousse yesterday and OMG I nearly died*)
L: SS+ meal of whatever and veggies, Choc tetra
D: Last shake/soup
I know this throws off my usual pattern of shake spacing, but I have a feeling I will need the extra fuel during the day when on placement.
*I nearly died from pleasure and divorce was pending. I'm sitting there eating this mousse that was like Tiramisu going "Oh. My. God. Mmmmm. Ooooh." Pausing only to breathe, lick the spoon and eat more. Husband not impressed. Not made those kind of noises for a good while. . .
Also this is my 12th week on SS/SS+ and as of next Sat I will be moving up to the 810 plan. So there we go then.
Todays BBQ went a bit awry, had 2 tuna steaks prepared and some salad for my SS+ friendly meal. Went a bit off plan and ended up eating 4 skinny skinless sausages, and a wee bit if husbands pork. We also had to use my water for the dog and BBQ extinguishing so drink was 500ml of Pepsi Max. Oh and 3 cherries.
Its not massively off plan, but bet its enough to skew the scales. At least if I have a wee upwards tilt I know why though.
However I am on placement for 5 weeks. 5 weeks of heavy duty walking and patient care. Have decided in order to deal with demands of day will split SS+ days as follows.
B: Vanilla latte shake ( I made this into a mousse yesterday and OMG I nearly died*)
L: SS+ meal of whatever and veggies, Choc tetra
D: Last shake/soup
I know this throws off my usual pattern of shake spacing, but I have a feeling I will need the extra fuel during the day when on placement.
*I nearly died from pleasure and divorce was pending. I'm sitting there eating this mousse that was like Tiramisu going "Oh. My. God. Mmmmm. Ooooh." Pausing only to breathe, lick the spoon and eat more. Husband not impressed. Not made those kind of noises for a good while. . .
Thursday, 18 June 2009
BMI 25 HERE I COME!
BMI this morning? 25.8!
Hell yeah!
Thats because the scales are sitting at 160lbs, or in old money, 11st 6lbs exactly. I've dropped 2lbs since yesterday!
Oh man SS+ is the way forward.
Je suis tres excite! I'm not even sure thats real French. I don't care.
Menu: Choc Mint shake, Tetra, Tomato Soup, Cottage cheese and mushroom (Asda cheese)
Drinks: Aiming for a round 3- 3.5L today
Weight: 160lbs, 11st 6 (yay!)
Mood: Good because yesterday I passed my driving test!
Hell yeah!
Thats because the scales are sitting at 160lbs, or in old money, 11st 6lbs exactly. I've dropped 2lbs since yesterday!
Oh man SS+ is the way forward.
Je suis tres excite! I'm not even sure thats real French. I don't care.
Menu: Choc Mint shake, Tetra, Tomato Soup, Cottage cheese and mushroom (Asda cheese)
Drinks: Aiming for a round 3- 3.5L today
Weight: 160lbs, 11st 6 (yay!)
Mood: Good because yesterday I passed my driving test!
Wednesday, 17 June 2009
Wednesday
Well scale results.
Woke up about 6am - 11st 8lbs exactly
Went back to bed.
Woke up at 10:30 - 11st 6.8 lbs
Obviously lie ins rock anyway - but will stick to the 11st 8lbs one, I feel validated. I was happy with 11st 8 anyway, if the scales show something better tomorrow then thats also fabulous.
Happy days
Todays meal is cottage cheese. From Sainsburys :( Avoid it. Its not curdy at all, its like thick lumpy yoghurt. The Asda one at least has good solid lumps of cheese curd - this though is just like yoghurt thats went off (yes I know thats all cheese is anyway but still)
Not relishing the thought of that later on, let me tell you.
Update: Its boggin'. Its like thrush in a tub. I'm sticking to Asda. It might be considered the cheap version but at least it tastes nice.
Woke up about 6am - 11st 8lbs exactly
Went back to bed.
Woke up at 10:30 - 11st 6.8 lbs
Obviously lie ins rock anyway - but will stick to the 11st 8lbs one, I feel validated. I was happy with 11st 8 anyway, if the scales show something better tomorrow then thats also fabulous.
Happy days
Todays meal is cottage cheese. From Sainsburys :( Avoid it. Its not curdy at all, its like thick lumpy yoghurt. The Asda one at least has good solid lumps of cheese curd - this though is just like yoghurt thats went off (yes I know thats all cheese is anyway but still)
Not relishing the thought of that later on, let me tell you.
Update: Its boggin'. Its like thrush in a tub. I'm sticking to Asda. It might be considered the cheap version but at least it tastes nice.
Tuesday, 16 June 2009
Lost it - Found it?
Think am properly back on track - thats 2 whole 100% days :D
Doesn't sound like much but when I've been struggling so much its amazing. Feeling very focused. Long may it continue.
Hoping for a wee scale move tomorrow as reinforcement. Or the other thing that I have tomorrow going well. Its a secret until I know otherwise.
Manky mouth taste today which is reassuring ketosis wise.
Hoping by Saturday I could be 11st 6 something. That would be nice!
Only 9lbs to go to a healthy BMI - Thats going to be my new mantra. Aprt from the 9lbs bit which I hope changes significantly obviously.
Doesn't sound like much but when I've been struggling so much its amazing. Feeling very focused. Long may it continue.
Hoping for a wee scale move tomorrow as reinforcement. Or the other thing that I have tomorrow going well. Its a secret until I know otherwise.
Manky mouth taste today which is reassuring ketosis wise.
Hoping by Saturday I could be 11st 6 something. That would be nice!
Only 9lbs to go to a healthy BMI - Thats going to be my new mantra. Aprt from the 9lbs bit which I hope changes significantly obviously.
Monday, 15 June 2009
Had it, Lost it♠
Really struggled the past few days. The diet itself isn't the problem, its my head. I have lost my motivation. Turns out that working on building my confidence and getting rid of my fat head is a double edged sword. It would appear I needed that to drive me on.
I have stalled on my diet progress. The weights stalled because my head has stalled. I don't feel the same need to keep running from teh 15st 6 person I used to be, because now I don't see that when I look in the mirror. I see someone who need to perhaps lose a few pounds but not someone I would call obese. I'm starting to like myself and as a result that focus to really effect change has gone.
And I can't seem to get it back.
I don't want to stop here, but I'm creating humps for myself. I'm creating problems where there aren't any. I'm picking and bingeing and promising new starts the next day, and not happening. Why?
Am thinking of setting very small weight targets, say 4lbs at a time. Thats the only way I'm going to be able to do this.
I'm dreading placement, dreading it, because I can't make my Quorn lunches as a stir fry. I don't want a cottage cheese everyday for 5 weeks placement, and I know I'll get grief over a shake for lunch. Problem is when I was heavier that was okay because I could justify it by saying "look at me" I have so much to lose. Now though, I can't use that because I don't really beleive it myself and know I'll allow myself to talk myself off the plan.
I want my motivation back.
I'm also pissed off at my body too, so think I'm eating out of anger. Like self harming with food.
I look at the boards and I see people who are either the same height as me, and weigh more but in a smaller size and I think "how?!?", I see people who weigh slightly less than me but are half a foot shorter and 2 dress sizes smaller. And I just sit and think whats the point? I mean I can diet until the cows come home, but I'm never going to be a size 12/10 (and I'm most certainly not if I keep arsing about like this) but I just don't get it. I've even tried looking at it in terms of BMI as that should be an evener, but no. I'm still way out of where other people say they are.
I'm sorry if this makes me sound like a bitch, but I just can't see where I'm going wrong.
Maybe I just can't do this anymore. Maybe I should just give up. I don't want to give up, but the not wanting to continue either seems to be winning a bit more.
Despondent here man, fuckin' depondent.
I have stalled on my diet progress. The weights stalled because my head has stalled. I don't feel the same need to keep running from teh 15st 6 person I used to be, because now I don't see that when I look in the mirror. I see someone who need to perhaps lose a few pounds but not someone I would call obese. I'm starting to like myself and as a result that focus to really effect change has gone.
And I can't seem to get it back.
I don't want to stop here, but I'm creating humps for myself. I'm creating problems where there aren't any. I'm picking and bingeing and promising new starts the next day, and not happening. Why?
Am thinking of setting very small weight targets, say 4lbs at a time. Thats the only way I'm going to be able to do this.
I'm dreading placement, dreading it, because I can't make my Quorn lunches as a stir fry. I don't want a cottage cheese everyday for 5 weeks placement, and I know I'll get grief over a shake for lunch. Problem is when I was heavier that was okay because I could justify it by saying "look at me" I have so much to lose. Now though, I can't use that because I don't really beleive it myself and know I'll allow myself to talk myself off the plan.
I want my motivation back.
I'm also pissed off at my body too, so think I'm eating out of anger. Like self harming with food.
I look at the boards and I see people who are either the same height as me, and weigh more but in a smaller size and I think "how?!?", I see people who weigh slightly less than me but are half a foot shorter and 2 dress sizes smaller. And I just sit and think whats the point? I mean I can diet until the cows come home, but I'm never going to be a size 12/10 (and I'm most certainly not if I keep arsing about like this) but I just don't get it. I've even tried looking at it in terms of BMI as that should be an evener, but no. I'm still way out of where other people say they are.
I'm sorry if this makes me sound like a bitch, but I just can't see where I'm going wrong.
Maybe I just can't do this anymore. Maybe I should just give up. I don't want to give up, but the not wanting to continue either seems to be winning a bit more.
Despondent here man, fuckin' depondent.
Saturday, 13 June 2009
Today, mixed day
Woke up at 4 am taking a hypo - sure sign TOTM is due. Ate chocolate. Don't care, it was either that or honey.
Woke up at 6 with stomach cramp and urge to go to loo. Again sure sign, hormonal signals being sent to all smooth muscle cells, TOTM must be due.
Woke up at 9am with TOTM EVERYWHERE!
Which is good as, at least its arrived. Off into town for a viewing at the cinema, and watched Red Cliff, highly recommended. Very good.
Weight 11st 9lbs, not expecting miracles this week although miracle of 4lbs would be lovely please to take me to 11st 5.
Menu: Vanilla Latte shake, Quorn and Celery stirfry (also flies as forgot to wash celery, yay for protein), Choc Tetra and a porridge
Drinks: Black Coffee and 3 litres of water (so far)
Mood: Alright, bit crampy and heavy feeling but generally okay
Have to say though, very much enjoying SS+, really looking forward to 810 now in 9lbs time.
In 9lbs time I will be in a healthy weight and have a BMI of 25! Very excited!
Woke up at 6 with stomach cramp and urge to go to loo. Again sure sign, hormonal signals being sent to all smooth muscle cells, TOTM must be due.
Woke up at 9am with TOTM EVERYWHERE!
Which is good as, at least its arrived. Off into town for a viewing at the cinema, and watched Red Cliff, highly recommended. Very good.
Weight 11st 9lbs, not expecting miracles this week although miracle of 4lbs would be lovely please to take me to 11st 5.
Menu: Vanilla Latte shake, Quorn and Celery stirfry (also flies as forgot to wash celery, yay for protein), Choc Tetra and a porridge
Drinks: Black Coffee and 3 litres of water (so far)
Mood: Alright, bit crampy and heavy feeling but generally okay
Have to say though, very much enjoying SS+, really looking forward to 810 now in 9lbs time.
In 9lbs time I will be in a healthy weight and have a BMI of 25! Very excited!
Friday, 12 June 2009
Day... Oh day something
Lost track of where I am diet wise.
Anyway no matter as .....Weight this morning 11st 9lbs, which is good. Sole Source plus obviously working out fine.
Todays menu was:
Choc mint shake, Quorn and Broccoli Curry, 2 coffees with Choc tetra, Leek Potato soup
Drinks: About 3L of water again today.
Exercise: None
There really is nothing much more to report, a very boring day here to be honest.
Anyway no matter as .....Weight this morning 11st 9lbs, which is good. Sole Source plus obviously working out fine.
Todays menu was:
Choc mint shake, Quorn and Broccoli Curry, 2 coffees with Choc tetra, Leek Potato soup
Drinks: About 3L of water again today.
Exercise: None
There really is nothing much more to report, a very boring day here to be honest.
Thursday, 11 June 2009
Ewwww
11st 11lbs still. Feel like have been this weight for weeks, which in fairness I have.
Yesterday went well, although i did eat todays chicken allowance yesterday. Not great.
I am horrendously bloated today. Think have put on a whole dress size in space of the day.
Ugh. Feel like waddling through to bed for a nap. Also V tired.
Periods no doubt rearing thier ugly heads as also all spotty, had better come this time.
Yesterday went well, although i did eat todays chicken allowance yesterday. Not great.
I am horrendously bloated today. Think have put on a whole dress size in space of the day.
Ugh. Feel like waddling through to bed for a nap. Also V tired.
Periods no doubt rearing thier ugly heads as also all spotty, had better come this time.
Wednesday, 10 June 2009
Struggling
Yesterday was going fine up until Midnight. And then I cracked. Why didn't I just stay in bed?
Ended up eating 2 packets of crisps
2 slices malt loaf
Coffee with milk
and 2 slices of toast with peppered ham.
I'm struggling to get my weight past 11st 11. I look as if I'm getting past it, then I stop and go off rails.
Do I want to get to goal. I'm aiming for 10st 7. Its not unreasonable. I don't know whats wrong with me at the moment. Binge, guilt, back on track, binge guilt back on track until its all seamlessly blending into one.
Ended up eating 2 packets of crisps
2 slices malt loaf
Coffee with milk
and 2 slices of toast with peppered ham.
I'm struggling to get my weight past 11st 11. I look as if I'm getting past it, then I stop and go off rails.
Do I want to get to goal. I'm aiming for 10st 7. Its not unreasonable. I don't know whats wrong with me at the moment. Binge, guilt, back on track, binge guilt back on track until its all seamlessly blending into one.
Tuesday, 9 June 2009
Day 2 of SS+
Well day 1 (yesterday) went okay without a hitch, apart from me eating one extra lettuce leaf and quite frankly I'm letting that one slide.
Weight this morning was 11st 11, so dropping nicely so far.
Menu: Porridge, tetra and choc mint shake. 200G Quorn and stir fried lettuce, with chilli powder
Water: So far 2.5 L down and a cup of coffee but need to try and push another litre in
Mood: Hungry. Hate this restarting. Keeping busy.
And thats really all for today
Weight this morning was 11st 11, so dropping nicely so far.
Menu: Porridge, tetra and choc mint shake. 200G Quorn and stir fried lettuce, with chilli powder
Water: So far 2.5 L down and a cup of coffee but need to try and push another litre in
Mood: Hungry. Hate this restarting. Keeping busy.
And thats really all for today
Monday, 8 June 2009
Well I'm back on track
After last weeks binge had really struggled to get back in the game. End result weigh in means 1.5lbs on.
Totally deserved. However, I am totally back on track now, If I can get below 11st 10 this week I will be very pleased.
CDC is away on holiday for 2 weeks so won't see her for a fortnight, so I'm on my own (other than the fab support at Minimins) and we'll see how it goes
Have moved up to SS+ as I really wasn't coping on SS. I think I got to the stage I needed some food. And I'm reasoning may as well be food on plan compared to food off plan, leading to stalls, feeling rubbish and coming off.
I don't have that far to go. I'm going to get there. I almost have a BMI of in the 25's. I am not giving in.
So
Menu: 2 shakes, 1 porridge, and 225g Cottage cheese, portabello mushroom.
Drinks: Aiming for at least 3L of still water today
Mood: Very very focused, after last weeks self examination and time off plan
Weight: 11st 12.5 (to be expected)
Totally deserved. However, I am totally back on track now, If I can get below 11st 10 this week I will be very pleased.
CDC is away on holiday for 2 weeks so won't see her for a fortnight, so I'm on my own (other than the fab support at Minimins) and we'll see how it goes
Have moved up to SS+ as I really wasn't coping on SS. I think I got to the stage I needed some food. And I'm reasoning may as well be food on plan compared to food off plan, leading to stalls, feeling rubbish and coming off.
I don't have that far to go. I'm going to get there. I almost have a BMI of in the 25's. I am not giving in.
So
Menu: 2 shakes, 1 porridge, and 225g Cottage cheese, portabello mushroom.
Drinks: Aiming for at least 3L of still water today
Mood: Very very focused, after last weeks self examination and time off plan
Weight: 11st 12.5 (to be expected)
Wednesday, 3 June 2009
The binge list
2 Kit Kat Senses
A Lion Bar
3 ryvita with ginger jam
pasta and meatballs
2 bits fruit loaf and butter
2 bits bread
1 packet crisps
2 coffee with whole milk
Ritz and Philidelphia snack pack
150g chicken breast
a bit of coconut macaroon
I disgust myself. I really do, I'm actually so lost today I worry about finding myself tomorrow.
A Lion Bar
3 ryvita with ginger jam
pasta and meatballs
2 bits fruit loaf and butter
2 bits bread
1 packet crisps
2 coffee with whole milk
Ritz and Philidelphia snack pack
150g chicken breast
a bit of coconut macaroon
I disgust myself. I really do, I'm actually so lost today I worry about finding myself tomorrow.
Tuesday, 2 June 2009
Driving Test 1 - Me 0
I failed my driving test. I think that I was justified though.
Apparently I clipped my wing mirror on a sign - didn't hear it, feel it or anything, but fair enough, its a my word against theirs scenario. So meh. This was 2 majors here.
Second fault - Coming down a road. 3 cars in front of me (not indicated by the way) pull out into oncoming lane and over take another leaner driver stopped in middle of the road, so I slow down, learner not moving. I stopped and then checked no more oncoming traffic, pulled out into oncoming lane and continued on my merry way. Apparently the stopping was the fault (viewed as a failure to plan ahead) - the 3 cars that went before me should have been a step for a hint. Fair enough but I explained that whilst they may have felt it was safe to do so, I wasn't sure it was so liked to check first. I think it was the stopping first though. Either way can't argue with them can I?
Fuckin' Nazis man.
Retest is booked.
Apparently I clipped my wing mirror on a sign - didn't hear it, feel it or anything, but fair enough, its a my word against theirs scenario. So meh. This was 2 majors here.
Second fault - Coming down a road. 3 cars in front of me (not indicated by the way) pull out into oncoming lane and over take another leaner driver stopped in middle of the road, so I slow down, learner not moving. I stopped and then checked no more oncoming traffic, pulled out into oncoming lane and continued on my merry way. Apparently the stopping was the fault (viewed as a failure to plan ahead) - the 3 cars that went before me should have been a step for a hint. Fair enough but I explained that whilst they may have felt it was safe to do so, I wasn't sure it was so liked to check first. I think it was the stopping first though. Either way can't argue with them can I?
Fuckin' Nazis man.
Retest is booked.
Happy June! - Day 60
Morning. Not much to report. Might edit this later when I do have something to report.
Weight this morning, 11st 9.1lbs.
Damn you pesky 0.2 of a lb. I could have been 11st 8 (something).
Tommorow its going though. Oh yes.
Weight this morning, 11st 9.1lbs.
Damn you pesky 0.2 of a lb. I could have been 11st 8 (something).
Tommorow its going though. Oh yes.
Sunday, 31 May 2009
Day 58
Today and yesterday going very well. 100% all the way.
Only downer is I seem to have got sunburnt again. In Glasgow. Whats that all about?
Nothing really to report, hanging there. Very hungry today, but this too shall pass.
Only downer is I seem to have got sunburnt again. In Glasgow. Whats that all about?
Nothing really to report, hanging there. Very hungry today, but this too shall pass.
Saturday, 30 May 2009
Day 57 - I'm back in
Righty. "Crappy" 0.75lbs loss this week. Discussed with counsellor what was going on. Discussed moving up plans and what this might entail. After much discussion we agreed that I should try one more week on SS and see how I get on at the end of the week.
If I lose weight at end of the week, then I have to stay on SS until I reach weight of 11stone 3lbs.
If I don't lose weight then I will move up a plan a bit earlier.
Either way the end is in sight.
Oh and I'm also resolving to stay off the scales this week. This may be harder than I anticipate.
If I lose weight at end of the week, then I have to stay on SS until I reach weight of 11stone 3lbs.
If I don't lose weight then I will move up a plan a bit earlier.
Either way the end is in sight.
Oh and I'm also resolving to stay off the scales this week. This may be harder than I anticipate.
Friday, 29 May 2009
I give up - day 56
still 11 st 10, I think we can count this week as a stall.
Have decided to move up plans. The way I see it I have 10lbs to go to BMI 25, and theres not as much of a rush as there was initially.
Looking like SS+ or 810 for me then. Will discuss with counsellor on Sat and see what she suggests.
Have decided to move up plans. The way I see it I have 10lbs to go to BMI 25, and theres not as much of a rush as there was initially.
Looking like SS+ or 810 for me then. Will discuss with counsellor on Sat and see what she suggests.
Wednesday, 27 May 2009
Finally
11st 10lbs.
Think this week has been an inch loss week.
Possibly might have to move up plans earlier. I don't know yet. We'll see.
Hopefully can shift another 2.5lbs by Saturday to keep on track for planned weight loss this week but I doubt it, I mean I cant make by body go any faster, so just have to wait and see. I am not a machine and weight loss is not linear. Wanted this week to be 11st 8lbs, but I don't hink thats achievable. Ah well, will come in time I suppose.
Think I might have to avoid the forums for a bit too, getting a bit too much at times. Can't really verbalise it but there you go.
Think this week has been an inch loss week.
Possibly might have to move up plans earlier. I don't know yet. We'll see.
Hopefully can shift another 2.5lbs by Saturday to keep on track for planned weight loss this week but I doubt it, I mean I cant make by body go any faster, so just have to wait and see. I am not a machine and weight loss is not linear. Wanted this week to be 11st 8lbs, but I don't hink thats achievable. Ah well, will come in time I suppose.
Think I might have to avoid the forums for a bit too, getting a bit too much at times. Can't really verbalise it but there you go.
Thursday, 21 May 2009
Jeezo!
11st 11lbs exactly this morning.
Thats a massive 1.5lbs drop since yesterday. Roll on Saturday weigh in! :D
only have 18lbs left to shed.
Thats a massive 1.5lbs drop since yesterday. Roll on Saturday weigh in! :D
only have 18lbs left to shed.
Wednesday, 20 May 2009
Whoo ! Lie ins rock!
Thats me
11 stone
12.5lbs.
Yee ha!
That is all, away for exam prep at uni. Speak to everyone later
11 stone
12.5lbs.
Yee ha!
That is all, away for exam prep at uni. Speak to everyone later
Tuesday, 19 May 2009
Its nice!
Thats it guys
11st 13.7lbs
Alright I've dropped 0.5lbs since yesterday but thats cool.
In in the 11's. Go me etc.
11st 13.7lbs
Alright I've dropped 0.5lbs since yesterday but thats cool.
In in the 11's. Go me etc.
Monday, 18 May 2009
Day 45
Still 12stone, but was 12st 0.2lbs instead of 12st 0.75lbs on Saturday and do you know what thats fine.
I only have 4 weeks left on SS, so what comes off comes off regardless. I am totally chilled about my weight. Its fine dude, its all fine.
Saying that, I hope I am in the 11's tomorrow. That would be nice, not essential but nice. Not expecting my whoosh til near the end of the week.
Next week I'm going to try the no weigh challenge for a week. Should be ... interesting to see if I can do it.
On a side note, periods still not flippin' here, beginning to get annoyed now. And most definitely not pregnant. Don't think I'll bother going to docs this month, will go on 15th June if nothing arrives
I only have 4 weeks left on SS, so what comes off comes off regardless. I am totally chilled about my weight. Its fine dude, its all fine.
Saying that, I hope I am in the 11's tomorrow. That would be nice, not essential but nice. Not expecting my whoosh til near the end of the week.
Next week I'm going to try the no weigh challenge for a week. Should be ... interesting to see if I can do it.
On a side note, periods still not flippin' here, beginning to get annoyed now. And most definitely not pregnant. Don't think I'll bother going to docs this month, will go on 15th June if nothing arrives
Saturday, 16 May 2009
Day 43
Well its the start of week 7. Day 42 was the end of week 6. Stupid brain.
Weigh in went well today. 12st (and a wee bit of a pound0 but I'm not counting.
12 STONE PEOPLE!
11's next week then. Easily.
I also purchased some "Fibre 89" which you add to shakes to make them a bit more well, fibrous really. I wonder if the extra 5g of a fibre a day will make a huge difference if at all? We'll see I suppose.
Anyway, not much to report now.
Weigh in went well today. 12st (and a wee bit of a pound0 but I'm not counting.
12 STONE PEOPLE!
11's next week then. Easily.
I also purchased some "Fibre 89" which you add to shakes to make them a bit more well, fibrous really. I wonder if the extra 5g of a fibre a day will make a huge difference if at all? We'll see I suppose.
Anyway, not much to report now.
Friday, 15 May 2009
Moan
During placement today I had an epiphany moment, I think I've realised in part why I sabotage myself. Its a confidence thing, in many respects.
Outwardly I project myself as confident, I have heard myself described as "a laugh" "funny" "life and soul" "straight talking" and various other things which make me sound confident, and a very kind of "My own person" kinda personality. However I only feel like this around certain people, most of the time I am extremely uncertain of myself and lacking in confidence. I feel like I'm useless, fat, lazy, clumsy, ugly and that people only spend time with me because they feel sorry for me. I mean who would want to be my real friend? When I contribute to conversations I immediately feel I've said something stupid, I replay it in my head to see how I could have worded it differently, who could have taken offence, was my tone okay, how did people react etc. In short, I'm very insecure and easily rattled. In part, this is due to growing up where my mum constantly pushed us to do better because she wanted better for us "Thats good you got 90%, and I'm proud of you but if you tried a wee bit harder you could get 95%" whereas Dad was more of a "See, you only got 90% because you're too stupid to get 100. And you're ugly. And horrible" (Do you know he used to set me riddles, and hit me if I got them right? Because I was too stupid to get the answer legitimately, and if I got them wrong to avoid a slap, then he told me that was all he expected, stupid me. So in the end up I would rather take a beating and appear knowledgeable that admit defeat)
How does this relate to weight loss?
I think I'm scared of being thin. I could cry right now. I think part of me uses my bulk as a defense, because people feel sorry for "fat" me, so therefor laugh at my unfunny jokes, stories and conversations. Maybe when I'm thin they'll just tell me to fuck off? Find some other friends?
I also use my bulk as a point of defiance I think. I might be fat, but I can work just as hard as a thin person, in fact doubly so. Fat people aren't lazy. I'm not lazy. So there. When I'm thin I'll just be the same. I won't have that push to compete against people.
Today I was told that my approach to certain people was "not confrontational, but.... direct". Now I don't get this. I readily admit that I can be confrontational when you push me, but, I make an extreme effort on placement to be non confrontational, to the extent on last placement I was told I was overly apologetic to the point of annoyance. So I don't get it. Result, now I'm doubting myself even more, and reworking almost every conversation I've had over the past 5 weeks.
Maybe my "directness" is now seen as that because I'm thinner? Maybe if I was still really fat they would feel that wee bit sorry for me and cut me some slack?
That aside, I'm actually quite nervous about getting to goal. I was looking forward to getting rid of all this weight and maintaining a healthy body. What now though, of people think I'm ugly? I won't have that "You'd be a nice looking lassie if you lost some weight or " "aye... but you've got a nice face" to provide a barrier now.
What if I don't like what I see? What if before I just didn't like what I saw because I was fat, but now I won't like what I see because I really am, as I was told growing up, so ugly no-one will ever love me? I am that total waste of space. I am not only ugly, I am a horrible person too.
Also the perfectionism from the whole "acheiving all you can" thing. If I fail outright then fine, I've not just acheived 90% or stuck at a size 14 because I'm not sure I can get to 10 stone and a size 10? Do you know what I mean?
This sounds much more self pitying that I ever intended, and for that I'm sorry. I'm just so confused and upset at the moment, I don't know what else to do. I don't even want to tell anyone in person in case they think I'm a moan and like me even less.
Outwardly I project myself as confident, I have heard myself described as "a laugh" "funny" "life and soul" "straight talking" and various other things which make me sound confident, and a very kind of "My own person" kinda personality. However I only feel like this around certain people, most of the time I am extremely uncertain of myself and lacking in confidence. I feel like I'm useless, fat, lazy, clumsy, ugly and that people only spend time with me because they feel sorry for me. I mean who would want to be my real friend? When I contribute to conversations I immediately feel I've said something stupid, I replay it in my head to see how I could have worded it differently, who could have taken offence, was my tone okay, how did people react etc. In short, I'm very insecure and easily rattled. In part, this is due to growing up where my mum constantly pushed us to do better because she wanted better for us "Thats good you got 90%, and I'm proud of you but if you tried a wee bit harder you could get 95%" whereas Dad was more of a "See, you only got 90% because you're too stupid to get 100. And you're ugly. And horrible" (Do you know he used to set me riddles, and hit me if I got them right? Because I was too stupid to get the answer legitimately, and if I got them wrong to avoid a slap, then he told me that was all he expected, stupid me. So in the end up I would rather take a beating and appear knowledgeable that admit defeat)
How does this relate to weight loss?
I think I'm scared of being thin. I could cry right now. I think part of me uses my bulk as a defense, because people feel sorry for "fat" me, so therefor laugh at my unfunny jokes, stories and conversations. Maybe when I'm thin they'll just tell me to fuck off? Find some other friends?
I also use my bulk as a point of defiance I think. I might be fat, but I can work just as hard as a thin person, in fact doubly so. Fat people aren't lazy. I'm not lazy. So there. When I'm thin I'll just be the same. I won't have that push to compete against people.
Today I was told that my approach to certain people was "not confrontational, but.... direct". Now I don't get this. I readily admit that I can be confrontational when you push me, but, I make an extreme effort on placement to be non confrontational, to the extent on last placement I was told I was overly apologetic to the point of annoyance. So I don't get it. Result, now I'm doubting myself even more, and reworking almost every conversation I've had over the past 5 weeks.
Maybe my "directness" is now seen as that because I'm thinner? Maybe if I was still really fat they would feel that wee bit sorry for me and cut me some slack?
That aside, I'm actually quite nervous about getting to goal. I was looking forward to getting rid of all this weight and maintaining a healthy body. What now though, of people think I'm ugly? I won't have that "You'd be a nice looking lassie if you lost some weight or " "aye... but you've got a nice face" to provide a barrier now.
What if I don't like what I see? What if before I just didn't like what I saw because I was fat, but now I won't like what I see because I really am, as I was told growing up, so ugly no-one will ever love me? I am that total waste of space. I am not only ugly, I am a horrible person too.
Also the perfectionism from the whole "acheiving all you can" thing. If I fail outright then fine, I've not just acheived 90% or stuck at a size 14 because I'm not sure I can get to 10 stone and a size 10? Do you know what I mean?
This sounds much more self pitying that I ever intended, and for that I'm sorry. I'm just so confused and upset at the moment, I don't know what else to do. I don't even want to tell anyone in person in case they think I'm a moan and like me even less.
DAY 42
And that folks is the end of week 7!
How time flies eh? I must be repeating myself because I'm sure I've said that before.
Weight: 12st 1lbs
Going to try for a 12st mark for tomorrow as going to see my CDC, but this means that next week I will definately be in the 11's.
In other news, my period is now a week late. Not pregnant as been peeing on sticks for Britain, but think I must be carrying some water retention about. Also I was mega stressed yesterday and its all a very long story but I went to bed at 7pm.
Slept right through until my alarm went off this morning. I must have needed it.
How time flies eh? I must be repeating myself because I'm sure I've said that before.
Weight: 12st 1lbs
Going to try for a 12st mark for tomorrow as going to see my CDC, but this means that next week I will definately be in the 11's.
In other news, my period is now a week late. Not pregnant as been peeing on sticks for Britain, but think I must be carrying some water retention about. Also I was mega stressed yesterday and its all a very long story but I went to bed at 7pm.
Slept right through until my alarm went off this morning. I must have needed it.
Wednesday, 13 May 2009
Day 40
Today - well today was... interesting.
I finally bought a mirror, because standing in placement in my undies trying to catch a glimpse of myself in the changing room small mirror, wasn't going to end well. So splashed out £32 on a big stand up mirror.
Came home, had a bath (because I was freezing) and stood in front of it. Now whilst I didn't like what I see, I didn't hate it either. I look... normal(ish). I still have a wee belly but I have a definite hip shape as opposed to just lumpy saddlebags. I have abs. I shit you not. Not a six pack or anything but I can tell once I lose more weight I will have some definition there. My bum is smaller, noticeable and my thighs although still curved at the front and a bit heavy and shaping in.
My calves have a structure! Moving about I can see the bone running down the middle of the leg, previously they just looked kind of cleaved in two lengthways.
My shoulders are much slimmer and I can see shape of a rib cage. My skins not saggy which is good and my upper arms are shaping in nicely. I think I might still have a bit of bingo wingage at the end but I can live with that to be honest.
My face is changing shape too, I can see some cheekbone area emerging.
So I still have a way to go yet, but I'm not looking in the mirror today and thinking "Fat cow. Look at the state of you, you look like a sack of potatoes". Instead I was thinking, if I passed myself in the street I wouldn't look twice.
This is good.
I finally bought a mirror, because standing in placement in my undies trying to catch a glimpse of myself in the changing room small mirror, wasn't going to end well. So splashed out £32 on a big stand up mirror.
Came home, had a bath (because I was freezing) and stood in front of it. Now whilst I didn't like what I see, I didn't hate it either. I look... normal(ish). I still have a wee belly but I have a definite hip shape as opposed to just lumpy saddlebags. I have abs. I shit you not. Not a six pack or anything but I can tell once I lose more weight I will have some definition there. My bum is smaller, noticeable and my thighs although still curved at the front and a bit heavy and shaping in.
My calves have a structure! Moving about I can see the bone running down the middle of the leg, previously they just looked kind of cleaved in two lengthways.
My shoulders are much slimmer and I can see shape of a rib cage. My skins not saggy which is good and my upper arms are shaping in nicely. I think I might still have a bit of bingo wingage at the end but I can live with that to be honest.
My face is changing shape too, I can see some cheekbone area emerging.
So I still have a way to go yet, but I'm not looking in the mirror today and thinking "Fat cow. Look at the state of you, you look like a sack of potatoes". Instead I was thinking, if I passed myself in the street I wouldn't look twice.
This is good.
Tuesday, 12 May 2009
Day 39
righty - exam today. Don't think it went spectacularly well, but its done now.
Menu: 3 shakes
Drinks: 2.5 L of water, 1 of green tea and a coffee
Mood: Okay all things considered
Cheats: None
Exercise: I did about a hours worth of walking today to and from uni to placement.
Weight: 12st 3lbs bang on
Menu: 3 shakes
Drinks: 2.5 L of water, 1 of green tea and a coffee
Mood: Okay all things considered
Cheats: None
Exercise: I did about a hours worth of walking today to and from uni to placement.
Weight: 12st 3lbs bang on
Sunday, 10 May 2009
Day 37
How time flies.
Menu: 3 random shakes, porridge and tomato soup all finished. Gutted, really enjoying the tomato soup. which is strange because I hated it first time around
Drinks: Trying for 2.5L of water today, with say 1L of tea
Mood: Alright I suppose, getting a bit fed up.
Weight: 12st 3lbs
Cheats: None.
When I say i'm getting a bit fed up, its the stage I get to with any diet. I do really well for a long time and then think I deserve a break, and after that one meal/day off/weekend I'll get straight back on. Of course that rarely happens and the time between breaks agets shorter and shorter, so I really need to just get my head down and get on with it I suppose.
Not got long to Go. 1 stone and 3lbs until I reach a BMI of 25 and I HAVE to come off SS, so thats what 5-6 weeks? If I've come this far I can do another 5-6 weeks and thats it!
I was walking around Tesco yesterday and thier posh pickled onions were down to 50p. I was so tempted, but pickled onions aren't getting me to goal. CD is. So, on with it and Hopefully by the time I'm typing Day 70-Day 73 I'll be at BMI 25.
Menu: 3 random shakes, porridge and tomato soup all finished. Gutted, really enjoying the tomato soup. which is strange because I hated it first time around
Drinks: Trying for 2.5L of water today, with say 1L of tea
Mood: Alright I suppose, getting a bit fed up.
Weight: 12st 3lbs
Cheats: None.
When I say i'm getting a bit fed up, its the stage I get to with any diet. I do really well for a long time and then think I deserve a break, and after that one meal/day off/weekend I'll get straight back on. Of course that rarely happens and the time between breaks agets shorter and shorter, so I really need to just get my head down and get on with it I suppose.
Not got long to Go. 1 stone and 3lbs until I reach a BMI of 25 and I HAVE to come off SS, so thats what 5-6 weeks? If I've come this far I can do another 5-6 weeks and thats it!
I was walking around Tesco yesterday and thier posh pickled onions were down to 50p. I was so tempted, but pickled onions aren't getting me to goal. CD is. So, on with it and Hopefully by the time I'm typing Day 70-Day 73 I'll be at BMI 25.
Friday, 8 May 2009
Thursday, 7 May 2009
Day 34
Not much to report really.
Weight moving slowly but this is as expected, due to binge on Sunday night. All own fault, no excuses and will take punishment like a pro.
Weight this morning 12st 5lbs.
Although its "only" a pound, I'm still moving down the way so I am actually quite pleased. I've got rid of
10lbs
1.5 lbs
5.5 lbs
4.75 lbs
1 lbs (so far)
Over 5 weeks I think thats amazing. I'm rathet pleased.
Keep on rockin' guys - see you over the weekend hopefully.
Weight moving slowly but this is as expected, due to binge on Sunday night. All own fault, no excuses and will take punishment like a pro.
Weight this morning 12st 5lbs.
Although its "only" a pound, I'm still moving down the way so I am actually quite pleased. I've got rid of
10lbs
1.5 lbs
5.5 lbs
4.75 lbs
1 lbs (so far)
Over 5 weeks I think thats amazing. I'm rathet pleased.
Keep on rockin' guys - see you over the weekend hopefully.
Saturday, 2 May 2009
Day 29
Just a quickie folks. Off to meet counsellor today for another weeks supply, as can't make next Saturday due to placement shift. Husband might be starting this diet too! Have to pick up a few shakes for him to try whilst I am at CDCs and let him taste them first.
Menu: Choc tetra, Peanut bar and a shake
Drinks: Coffee whilst out today, aiming for 3L of water
Mood: Determined and calm. Quite relaxed actually
Cheats: None - Not cheated in a such a long time, and its now easier to not think about it than it was.
Weight: 12 st 6
Go me. Well pleased with self.
Menu: Choc tetra, Peanut bar and a shake
Drinks: Coffee whilst out today, aiming for 3L of water
Mood: Determined and calm. Quite relaxed actually
Cheats: None - Not cheated in a such a long time, and its now easier to not think about it than it was.
Weight: 12 st 6
Go me. Well pleased with self.
Friday, 1 May 2009
Day 28
Well folks - this is the end of week 4. I'm going to do a wee recap here and this might be a fairly lengthy post.
For the past 4 weeks I have stuck to CD Sole Source, I have at times found it hard but most of the time its just knuckling in, getting on with it and the past 4 weeks have went past fairly quickly.
The down times:
At times feeling hungry, I know that ketosis should have meant that this wouldn't happen, but at times I kow its been hungry and my stomachs been grumbling away.
At times feeling a bit washed out and tired.
Feeling like I'm never going to get there.
The Up times:
Getting rid of a stone and a half in 4 weeks.
Feeling thinner, feeling clothes getting looser
Knowing that I am on my way to my goal weight
Week 4 recap.
Weight lost - 1.5 stones
Start weight - 14 stone
Current weight - 12 stone 7lbs
Measurements - The same? I think I'm doing this wrong, I can't have lost a stone and a half and not went down in size.
Dress size - Don't know. Am going to go out shopping in a few days an dtry some clothes on, and see how I get on
Mood - Overall has been positive. Today I was on a bit of a downer, but honestly overall I've not felt deprived or neglected. Generally very determined and positive.
For the past 4 weeks I have stuck to CD Sole Source, I have at times found it hard but most of the time its just knuckling in, getting on with it and the past 4 weeks have went past fairly quickly.
The down times:
At times feeling hungry, I know that ketosis should have meant that this wouldn't happen, but at times I kow its been hungry and my stomachs been grumbling away.
At times feeling a bit washed out and tired.
Feeling like I'm never going to get there.
The Up times:
Getting rid of a stone and a half in 4 weeks.
Feeling thinner, feeling clothes getting looser
Knowing that I am on my way to my goal weight
Week 4 recap.
Weight lost - 1.5 stones
Start weight - 14 stone
Current weight - 12 stone 7lbs
Measurements - The same? I think I'm doing this wrong, I can't have lost a stone and a half and not went down in size.
Dress size - Don't know. Am going to go out shopping in a few days an dtry some clothes on, and see how I get on
Mood - Overall has been positive. Today I was on a bit of a downer, but honestly overall I've not felt deprived or neglected. Generally very determined and positive.
Thursday, 30 April 2009
Day 27
Nearly 4 weeks gone!
Pole dancing went well today. Sore now and will be stiff as hell tomorrow, but it was good fun!
Mood: Utterly wiped, but in a good way
Cheats: None
Menu: Shake, tetra, bar
Fluids: 3 litres of water, a coffee and a cup of red bush tea
Weight: 12stone 7lbs. Scary biscuits
Pole dancing went well today. Sore now and will be stiff as hell tomorrow, but it was good fun!
Mood: Utterly wiped, but in a good way
Cheats: None
Menu: Shake, tetra, bar
Fluids: 3 litres of water, a coffee and a cup of red bush tea
Weight: 12stone 7lbs. Scary biscuits
Tuesday, 28 April 2009
Day 25
A quick entry today due to Captain time pressue and his sidekick General tiredness.
Mood: Tired, grumpy, stressed - DON'T TALK TO ME! One of those ones
Menu: Peanut Bar - Porridge - Shake
Drinks - 2.5 L water, 1 L tea and (gasp) can coke zero
Cheats - None. Niente, Nada, Zip
Weight: 12st 8 this morning.
Overall good, just placement was quite tiring today. Roll on Friday lie in.
Mood: Tired, grumpy, stressed - DON'T TALK TO ME! One of those ones
Menu: Peanut Bar - Porridge - Shake
Drinks - 2.5 L water, 1 L tea and (gasp) can coke zero
Cheats - None. Niente, Nada, Zip
Weight: 12st 8 this morning.
Overall good, just placement was quite tiring today. Roll on Friday lie in.
Sunday, 26 April 2009
Day 23
Well scales showing another move down the way, and I have to admit this is a biggie for me.
Usually when I diet I follow a very predictable pattern.
I get fat, above 14 stone seems to be my snapping point, and I decide to diet.
I diet. Vigorously.
I stick in and get to 13st 3. I decide that was a good wee run, and take a "meal off".
This then leads to a wee bump during which I struggle to get back on track for a few days or even a few weeks.
I put on a wee bit of weight.
Get stuck in again.
Get past the 13st 3 mark.
Make it to 12stone 10. Then I go a bit mad, derail and put all my lost weight back on again.
This time though. I pushed through 13st 3lbs. I am also....
12 stone 9.6 lbs this morning.
I know its only .4 of a lb, but I don't care. I'm past my demon weight. I admit to getting a wee bit teary this morning in the bathroom. I'm getting there.
Menu: Apple and cinnamon porridge, banana ice cream and a peanut bar.
Drinks: 2L of tea (freezing today and don't think the ice cream helped) 1 cup coffee and 1.5 litres water
Cheats: Last night I had 4 black olives, and a piece of husbands lamb. (more on this further on)
Mood: Quite emotional today, weepy and excited and stressed
Weight: See above
Re the cheating. I think I ended up picking because I was at this 12st 10 mark. I know it sounds stupid, I mean I'll never be at goal if I don't get past it, but head tricks and all that made picking acceptable last night. I did catch myself halfway through the bit of lamb and spit the rest out, had an extra peanut bar and went to bed to watch some tv. The lamb was about 1" wide by about 1/4" thick, so it wasn't a big bit but it was enough for me to re-evaluate what I was doing and why.
I'm glad I nailed it there and then though, and I'm ultra glad the scales showed a slight move this morning too. Almost like a reward. Next week I'm aiming for 12st 7 (OMG stomach doing somersaults at that)
Then I will officially be into a size 14.
Usually when I diet I follow a very predictable pattern.
I get fat, above 14 stone seems to be my snapping point, and I decide to diet.
I diet. Vigorously.
I stick in and get to 13st 3. I decide that was a good wee run, and take a "meal off".
This then leads to a wee bump during which I struggle to get back on track for a few days or even a few weeks.
I put on a wee bit of weight.
Get stuck in again.
Get past the 13st 3 mark.
Make it to 12stone 10. Then I go a bit mad, derail and put all my lost weight back on again.
This time though. I pushed through 13st 3lbs. I am also....
12 stone 9.6 lbs this morning.
I know its only .4 of a lb, but I don't care. I'm past my demon weight. I admit to getting a wee bit teary this morning in the bathroom. I'm getting there.
Menu: Apple and cinnamon porridge, banana ice cream and a peanut bar.
Drinks: 2L of tea (freezing today and don't think the ice cream helped) 1 cup coffee and 1.5 litres water
Cheats: Last night I had 4 black olives, and a piece of husbands lamb. (more on this further on)
Mood: Quite emotional today, weepy and excited and stressed
Weight: See above
Re the cheating. I think I ended up picking because I was at this 12st 10 mark. I know it sounds stupid, I mean I'll never be at goal if I don't get past it, but head tricks and all that made picking acceptable last night. I did catch myself halfway through the bit of lamb and spit the rest out, had an extra peanut bar and went to bed to watch some tv. The lamb was about 1" wide by about 1/4" thick, so it wasn't a big bit but it was enough for me to re-evaluate what I was doing and why.
I'm glad I nailed it there and then though, and I'm ultra glad the scales showed a slight move this morning too. Almost like a reward. Next week I'm aiming for 12st 7 (OMG stomach doing somersaults at that)
Then I will officially be into a size 14.
Saturday, 25 April 2009
Day 22
Oh crivens!
Well had my official weigh in today at counsellors. Turns out her new scales are just a wee half pound heavier than mines so....
12 STONE 10lbs!!
I am very pleased with myself. I think I still have a fat head on though, as although I have got rid of 1 stone and 4lbs in 3 weeks, I can't see it. Sometimes I can sight of myself and think "Your face looks thinner" or "Ooh I have a jawline" and others I just think "Fat cow". Bought myself some varied packs this week for the next fortnight. And I will see my counsellor in a fortnight for official weighing ins.
This time around I bought:
7 choc peanut bars
7 apple and cinnamon porridge
1 tomato soup
11 choc tetras
5 choc orange shakes
4 choc mint shakes
7 Vanilla shakes
Absurdly enjoyed my peanut bar today. I know you can have one everyday, but just fancied spacing them out a bit.
So yeah, now for the stats
Menu: Choc tetra, peanut bar, tomato soup
Mood: Elated and focused
Drinks: Black coffee whilst out, 3.5 L water, some herbal tea later
Weight: 12 st 10lbs! Thats 1 stone, 4lbs lost in 3 weeks.
Cheats none.
Well had my official weigh in today at counsellors. Turns out her new scales are just a wee half pound heavier than mines so....
12 STONE 10lbs!!
I am very pleased with myself. I think I still have a fat head on though, as although I have got rid of 1 stone and 4lbs in 3 weeks, I can't see it. Sometimes I can sight of myself and think "Your face looks thinner" or "Ooh I have a jawline" and others I just think "Fat cow". Bought myself some varied packs this week for the next fortnight. And I will see my counsellor in a fortnight for official weighing ins.
This time around I bought:
7 choc peanut bars
7 apple and cinnamon porridge
1 tomato soup
11 choc tetras
5 choc orange shakes
4 choc mint shakes
7 Vanilla shakes
Absurdly enjoyed my peanut bar today. I know you can have one everyday, but just fancied spacing them out a bit.
So yeah, now for the stats
Menu: Choc tetra, peanut bar, tomato soup
Mood: Elated and focused
Drinks: Black coffee whilst out, 3.5 L water, some herbal tea later
Weight: 12 st 10lbs! Thats 1 stone, 4lbs lost in 3 weeks.
Cheats none.
Thursday, 23 April 2009
Day 20.
Going well my friends.
Mood: In the zone!
Menu: 3 shakes
Drinks: 2 coffees, a peppermint tea and 2.5 Litres of water
Cheats: None
Weight: 12 stone 12lbs.
Its so hard remembering to type the 12 for stones instead of 13. Oh happy days. In 4 weeks I'll be typing "11" instead
Mood: In the zone!
Menu: 3 shakes
Drinks: 2 coffees, a peppermint tea and 2.5 Litres of water
Cheats: None
Weight: 12 stone 12lbs.
Its so hard remembering to type the 12 for stones instead of 13. Oh happy days. In 4 weeks I'll be typing "11" instead
Monday, 20 April 2009
Yo. Day 17?
I think. Losing track of days, pretty sure that its day 17.
Anyhoo... this morning I was 12st 13lbs.
I'm in the frickin' 12's man.
Just think, another 4 weeks and I could be in the 11's.
Almost pooping myself with excitement here.
Anyhoo... this morning I was 12st 13lbs.
I'm in the frickin' 12's man.
Just think, another 4 weeks and I could be in the 11's.
Almost pooping myself with excitement here.
Yo. Day 17?
I think. Losing track of days, pretty sure that its day 17.
Anyhoo... this morning I was 12st 13lbs.
I'm in the frickin' 12's man.
Just think, another 4 weeks and I could be in the 11's.
Almost pooping myself with excitement here.
Anyhoo... this morning I was 12st 13lbs.
I'm in the frickin' 12's man.
Just think, another 4 weeks and I could be in the 11's.
Almost pooping myself with excitement here.
Sunday, 19 April 2009
Day 16!
Well! Yesterdays unofficial weigh on showed that I had only lost 1.5 - 2lbs since last week. However I was not downhearted, as there were as mentioned previously a few factors that would be affecting the weigh in that week. Undeterred, I had a quick hop on the scales this morning, and I've dropped 1.5lbs since yesterday ! Now when weighing I always round down to the nearest pound for psychological boosting e.g 13st 3.6lbs would be 13st 3. I aint sweating the small stuff. However this mornings weight was exactly on the pound mark.
Also having had a quick count of shakes, I have noticed that I am a shake short. In an ideal world I would contact my CDC and get one more, but she lives about a hour away on bus. I'm too lazy. So last night for dinner I had a tin of tuna and some veg. Like an 810 meal. This was not ideal I know but I felt it was important to get the protein in. I also wanted to do it way before weigh in to give any salt time to work its way and settle through my system. I enjoyed it but I wasn't thrilled with the tuna. I think you build food up for so much more than it is on CD.
ANYWAY....
Weight: 13st bang on. A stone lost in a fortnight!
Mood: Slightly "high"
Cheats: None
Drinks: Aiming for 4L of mixed allowable fluids today
Menu: 3 random shakes.
Also having had a quick count of shakes, I have noticed that I am a shake short. In an ideal world I would contact my CDC and get one more, but she lives about a hour away on bus. I'm too lazy. So last night for dinner I had a tin of tuna and some veg. Like an 810 meal. This was not ideal I know but I felt it was important to get the protein in. I also wanted to do it way before weigh in to give any salt time to work its way and settle through my system. I enjoyed it but I wasn't thrilled with the tuna. I think you build food up for so much more than it is on CD.
ANYWAY....
Weight: 13st bang on. A stone lost in a fortnight!
Mood: Slightly "high"
Cheats: None
Drinks: Aiming for 4L of mixed allowable fluids today
Menu: 3 random shakes.
Thursday, 16 April 2009
Day 13.
DA DA DUUUUUNNNNN! sorry, just cause it was 13.
Well basically day 13 went without a hitch until I got home. I didn't pick, that issue has been resolved BUT thought shake drawer looked a bit bereft. So I did a quick count.
I be missing 2 shakes. Now I always keep a spare, so I'm only short 1 meal but its a bit puzzling like.
Well basically day 13 went without a hitch until I got home. I didn't pick, that issue has been resolved BUT thought shake drawer looked a bit bereft. So I did a quick count.
I be missing 2 shakes. Now I always keep a spare, so I'm only short 1 meal but its a bit puzzling like.
Wednesday, 15 April 2009
Day 12
Oooft.
Sorry for lack of update, been hectic on placement. So how have the past few days been? Well, scales report a 1lb loss since Saturday. That's not great I know, however the following factors may have affected this.
Diet: Choc Orange shake, Choc Tetra, Choc mint shake
Drinks: 3l water.
Mood: Tired stressed and hormonal
Cheats: None today!
Weight: 13 st 2lbs this morning.
Sorry for lack of update, been hectic on placement. So how have the past few days been? Well, scales report a 1lb loss since Saturday. That's not great I know, however the following factors may have affected this.
- TOTM, started Monday. Yay (not). Its good my PCOS is resolving to a regular 28 days cycle now, but still its a pain in the ass because...
- I've been picking. Since Monday and my desire for SWEETS. I ate 2/3 of an easter egg shell, through picking. And half a skinless chickn thigh. Its stopped now.
- Waters not been great, today I so far managed 3litres, however Monday - Tuesday I managed the bare 2.5 Litres. Given I usually shift 3-4 on a normal day its a bit disappointing.
- Tired. Not sleeping as much, and working more on the wards so its all a bit haywore at the moment.
Diet: Choc Orange shake, Choc Tetra, Choc mint shake
Drinks: 3l water.
Mood: Tired stressed and hormonal
Cheats: None today!
Weight: 13 st 2lbs this morning.
Sunday, 12 April 2009
Day 9
Well, the blog over the next 6 weeks may be slightly more condensed, as I am out busy during the week now. Weight probably only updated on weigh in day, but will still try to log in regularly.
Menu: 3 random shakes today
Drinks: Black coffee, 3 L water
Cheats: None
Mood: Alright actually. Feeling good. Jeans are lose around the thighs and tummy.
Menu: 3 random shakes today
Drinks: Black coffee, 3 L water
Cheats: None
Mood: Alright actually. Feeling good. Jeans are lose around the thighs and tummy.
Saturday, 11 April 2009
Day 8 - Weigh in day
Well folks, the unofficial official results are in - This morning...... I weighed..... 13 st 3lbs! Thats 11lbs off in a week!
Whoop whoop!
Am very pleased with myself and looking forward to another day cheat free. Good stuff.
Menu: Choc Orange, Choc Mint and Vanilla Latte
Drinks: 750ml herbal tea, 2.75 L sparkling water
Cheats: Half an inch square of husbands tandoori chicken.
Weight: 13st 3
Mood: Very VERY happy!
Whoop whoop!
Am very pleased with myself and looking forward to another day cheat free. Good stuff.
Menu: Choc Orange, Choc Mint and Vanilla Latte
Drinks: 750ml herbal tea, 2.75 L sparkling water
Cheats: Half an inch square of husbands tandoori chicken.
Weight: 13st 3
Mood: Very VERY happy!
Friday, 10 April 2009
Day 7
Thats a week gone! Going to have unofficial official weigh in tomorrow as not seeing CDC until 25th.
Anyhoo...
Menu: Choc Mint shake, Choc Orange, Vanilla Latte
Drinks: Herbal tea (2 mugs) 3 L still water
Mood: Feeling really really positive. No temptation yesterday at all
Cheats: Nope
Weight: 13 stone 4lbs bang on this morning.
In a moment of pure anal retentiveness, I organised all my shakes into nice neat rows in the kitchen drawer where they live. Then I alphabetised them. I need to get a grip.
Have entered a summer solstice challenge, which is set for 21st July/10 weeks away. I have put myself down for 28lbs to lose, which is an average of 2.8 lbs a week. I'm quietly confident that I'll get this. Was going to aim for 35lbs but although average on this is 14lbs a moth, feel setting the bar for that would be courting failure or disappointment.
Sailed through Day 6 yesterday. No temptation to have anything remotely non CD related, and had to remember to have my 3rd pack at 9:30pm tonight.
Roll on day 7!
Anyhoo...
Menu: Choc Mint shake, Choc Orange, Vanilla Latte
Drinks: Herbal tea (2 mugs) 3 L still water
Mood: Feeling really really positive. No temptation yesterday at all
Cheats: Nope
Weight: 13 stone 4lbs bang on this morning.
In a moment of pure anal retentiveness, I organised all my shakes into nice neat rows in the kitchen drawer where they live. Then I alphabetised them. I need to get a grip.
Have entered a summer solstice challenge, which is set for 21st July/10 weeks away. I have put myself down for 28lbs to lose, which is an average of 2.8 lbs a week. I'm quietly confident that I'll get this. Was going to aim for 35lbs but although average on this is 14lbs a moth, feel setting the bar for that would be courting failure or disappointment.
Sailed through Day 6 yesterday. No temptation to have anything remotely non CD related, and had to remember to have my 3rd pack at 9:30pm tonight.
Roll on day 7!
Thursday, 9 April 2009
Day 6
Menu: Vanilla latte, Chocolate shake, cappuccino shake
Drinks: 2L Sparkling water, 1.75L still water and some herbal tea
Cheats: None
Mood: Good, very determined this morning.
Weight: 13 St 4lbs
If I remain at 13st 4 for Saturday I'm more than happy with that. That takes me to a 10lb loss for my first week back. This means by the time I go to see my CDC I will most definitely be in the 12 stone bracket. maybe even 12st 11lbs? We'll see. I don't want to get too ahead of myself but am really very excited.
Looking at previous weeks on CD, I have lost an average of 4lbs a week and derailed when I got to 12st 10, because I went out on a night out, drank too much wine and had a chinese takeaway. Never really got the headspace again after that.
Not this time. It really is the last attempt on this.
In other news I made husband a batch of homemade scones this morning. Meant to make them last night, but felt the temptation to pick was a bit too strong. Felt "munchied" last night. No problems this morning though, and pieces and sausage for breakfast.
Drinks: 2L Sparkling water, 1.75L still water and some herbal tea
Cheats: None
Mood: Good, very determined this morning.
Weight: 13 St 4lbs
If I remain at 13st 4 for Saturday I'm more than happy with that. That takes me to a 10lb loss for my first week back. This means by the time I go to see my CDC I will most definitely be in the 12 stone bracket. maybe even 12st 11lbs? We'll see. I don't want to get too ahead of myself but am really very excited.
Looking at previous weeks on CD, I have lost an average of 4lbs a week and derailed when I got to 12st 10, because I went out on a night out, drank too much wine and had a chinese takeaway. Never really got the headspace again after that.
Not this time. It really is the last attempt on this.
In other news I made husband a batch of homemade scones this morning. Meant to make them last night, but felt the temptation to pick was a bit too strong. Felt "munchied" last night. No problems this morning though, and pieces and sausage for breakfast.
Wednesday, 8 April 2009
DAY 5
Menu: Strawberry shake, Vegetable soup, Chocolate shake
Fluids: 1.5 L of sparkling water, 2.5 L of still water, 1 black coffee
Cheats: None again. I'm being soooooo good
Mood: Chipper, still stressed re exams
Weight: 13 st 5lbs
Almost a week! I feel somehow validated that its day 5. I always struggle with days 3 and 4 for some reason, however looking forward to the end of the week for my unofficial official weigh in. Don't see counsellor for 3 weeks, on the 25th of April, so any weigh ins are really unofficial.
Feeling a bit chipper and because its day 5, its day 5 of 83!!! Which means I only have 78 days to go before I can add a meal and it will be the end of my Sole Source part of the diet (hopefully)
Really looking forward to weigh ins, have devised a reward system as I progress down, and its really important not to reward with food so at 13st I am treating myself (or rather husband is) to a pedicure. Professional Like.
Next weekends looking likely!
Fluids: 1.5 L of sparkling water, 2.5 L of still water, 1 black coffee
Cheats: None again. I'm being soooooo good
Mood: Chipper, still stressed re exams
Weight: 13 st 5lbs
Almost a week! I feel somehow validated that its day 5. I always struggle with days 3 and 4 for some reason, however looking forward to the end of the week for my unofficial official weigh in. Don't see counsellor for 3 weeks, on the 25th of April, so any weigh ins are really unofficial.
Feeling a bit chipper and because its day 5, its day 5 of 83!!! Which means I only have 78 days to go before I can add a meal and it will be the end of my Sole Source part of the diet (hopefully)
Really looking forward to weigh ins, have devised a reward system as I progress down, and its really important not to reward with food so at 13st I am treating myself (or rather husband is) to a pedicure. Professional Like.
Next weekends looking likely!
Tuesday, 7 April 2009
Day 4
Menu: (B) Strawberry shake :( (L) Vegetable soup (D) Vanilla latte shake.
Fluids: Black coffee, 2.75 L still water, 1 L sparkling water (4.05 L)
Cheats: None!
Mood: Tired, stressed about exams, driving tests and the next 80 days without food.
Weight: 13stone 7lbs
Fluids: Black coffee, 2.75 L still water, 1 L sparkling water (4.05 L)
Cheats: None!
Mood: Tired, stressed about exams, driving tests and the next 80 days without food.
Weight: 13stone 7lbs
Monday, 6 April 2009
Day 3
Menu: (B)Banana Shake (L) Vegetable Soup (D) Strawberry shake
Cheat: none
Mood: At dentist this morning, so was a bit nervy. That went okay though, so determined to have another good day.
Fluids: 2.1 L still water, One black coffee, 2 L sparkling water. TOTAL: 4.5 L FLUID
Weight: 13st 9lbs as of this morning.
Cheat: none
Mood: At dentist this morning, so was a bit nervy. That went okay though, so determined to have another good day.
Fluids: 2.1 L still water, One black coffee, 2 L sparkling water. TOTAL: 4.5 L FLUID
Weight: 13st 9lbs as of this morning.
Sunday, 5 April 2009
Day 2
Will update more later - This is just so I can edit if need be when I'm home later.
Menu: (L) vegetable soup, (D) Vanilla shake, (T) Choc Mint shake
Drinks: 1 mug black coffee, 2.5 L still water, 1.5 L sparkling water. Total 4.3 L fluid
Mood: Good so far! Now home: Bit nauseous and a wee bit of a headache going on
Cheats: None :D
Weight: 13st 11 lbs
And today as a special treat. The measurements.
Bust 44
Waist 37
Hips 45
Bra size/Dress size: 36F-FF/ Size 16
Menu: (L) vegetable soup, (D) Vanilla shake, (T) Choc Mint shake
Drinks: 1 mug black coffee, 2.5 L still water, 1.5 L sparkling water. Total 4.3 L fluid
Mood: Good so far! Now home: Bit nauseous and a wee bit of a headache going on
Cheats: None :D
Weight: 13st 11 lbs
And today as a special treat. The measurements.
Bust 44
Waist 37
Hips 45
Bra size/Dress size: 36F-FF/ Size 16
Saturday, 4 April 2009
Day 1
Well hello there
I'll try to log in every day, but not too sure If I'll be able to, But I will be honest. Any slip ups, cheats, highs and lows right here. I'll try to note down as much information as possible, for my own records and for anyone else reading.
So a bit about me. I'm 27. I've struggled with my weight for years. I used to be slim, unfortunately meeting my husband and eating man sized portions coupled with a desk job and development of PCOS meant that at my heaviest point I weighed 15 stone 7 lbs. I've tried every diet known to man (almost), Atkins, Weight Watchers, Scottish Slimmers, Slimming World, Detox, Slimfast, Cabbage soups... I estimate that I've lost and gained over 15 stone in a destructive cycle of getting so far and thinking "ach sod it" and derailing in a spectacular manner.
Currently I weigh 14 stones according to my counsellors scales this morning. I have approximately 3.5 stones to lose to take me to a goal weight of 10 stone 7lbs.
Each day I'll blog, if nothing else, how I've felt, how I've coped with the day and what I've had.
This is day 1 for me on the Cambridge diet Sole Source. This means 3 shakes, porridge or soups a day, totalling no more than 450 calories.
Menu: (B) Cappucino shake, (L) Porridge, (D) Chocolate Orange shakes.
Drinks: 2 Litres of sparkling water, 1.5 Litre of still, one black coffee and 1 black tea. Total Fluid (4 Litres)
Cheats: None
Weight: 14st
Mood: Alright, determined and slightly pleased with myself.
I'll try to log in every day, but not too sure If I'll be able to, But I will be honest. Any slip ups, cheats, highs and lows right here. I'll try to note down as much information as possible, for my own records and for anyone else reading.
So a bit about me. I'm 27. I've struggled with my weight for years. I used to be slim, unfortunately meeting my husband and eating man sized portions coupled with a desk job and development of PCOS meant that at my heaviest point I weighed 15 stone 7 lbs. I've tried every diet known to man (almost), Atkins, Weight Watchers, Scottish Slimmers, Slimming World, Detox, Slimfast, Cabbage soups... I estimate that I've lost and gained over 15 stone in a destructive cycle of getting so far and thinking "ach sod it" and derailing in a spectacular manner.
Currently I weigh 14 stones according to my counsellors scales this morning. I have approximately 3.5 stones to lose to take me to a goal weight of 10 stone 7lbs.
Each day I'll blog, if nothing else, how I've felt, how I've coped with the day and what I've had.
This is day 1 for me on the Cambridge diet Sole Source. This means 3 shakes, porridge or soups a day, totalling no more than 450 calories.
Menu: (B) Cappucino shake, (L) Porridge, (D) Chocolate Orange shakes.
Drinks: 2 Litres of sparkling water, 1.5 Litre of still, one black coffee and 1 black tea. Total Fluid (4 Litres)
Cheats: None
Weight: 14st
Mood: Alright, determined and slightly pleased with myself.
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